Becoming Accountable

 Ah…even reading the word ‘accountable’ brings me uneasy feelings. 

It’s like a hangover from childhood – you did something ‘wrong’ and now must have a spanking. Ouch. Or, like when the boss says, “I need a word with you”, and the gut immediately clenches and the mind goes, “Uh-oh…what did I do wrong?”

We usually associate being accountable with having made a mistake of some sort (with consequences soon to follow). After all, it’s usually others that hold us accountable, yes? We were late, we said the wrong thing, we missed, forgot, did, didn’t do something that someone expected or thought we should/shouldn’t – whether doctor, teacher, partner, boss, family, friend or even strangers! And, we do the same to them, too.

So, when I titled this piece “Become Accountable”, I should have put a subtitle of “To Yourself”. It might not make it more appetizing, but at least no one else is involved!

In this day and time of scientific and spiritual revelations showing us that we affect our reality, that our thoughts impact scientific experiments, that our expectations create molecular changes and a lot of really smart people saying we literally create our reality – well – great! So, that means that if we are creating it, then we are not only responsible, but also accountable, to our experience and our reality.

I am one of those people who believes that we do create our reality. I create mine all the time. I am also fortunate to have clients and students sharing their lives with me, too, and I have observed that what we focus on the most can (and often does) come to fruition. That is standard Law of Attraction stuff. What I now understand, however, is that it is not only what we think, as it is the quality of our thoughts – their energetic vibration or frequency – that plays a huge role in what we design for ourselves, how we feel, our reactions, our health and our lives.

The Law of Attraction (LOA) is all about this, and that focus is on using your thoughts to create what you want. Thoughts are things. OK, great, we get it. The LOA also incorporates the feeling state (energetic vibration) you get imagining you had the thing you want. Also great. Yet, when the thing doesn’t manifest – what happened? Did you not visualize or feel enough? Maybe. It’s more likely, however, that other things were going on you weren’t aware of.

And no, those other things aren’t about someone plotting your failure, a curse, or about anyone else at all. The truth is, it’s still all about us. Good news, yes? Since we are the only thing we have a wee modicum of control over, it’s time we fully understand and embrace being accountable for our experiences. 

It is almost impossible (improbable at least) for us to attract or manifest something if we’re not holding it, vibrationally, in our frequency and in our energy field. 

A person who is poor, and focuses on lack, usually gets more ‘lack’. A person seeking a partner but more often thinking there are no good, available wo/men out there, probably wouldn’t see one if they stared them in the face. You get the idea.

So, how are we accountable? Taking charge and becoming accountable is directly tied into our self-awareness - or lack thereof. Do you have any idea about what happens in your body when you think a negative thought? How about a positive one? Do you know what sort of energy you are creating? How your thoughts and feelings really affect you every time you have them? 

Most people have little to no clue because they are too busy or upset to stop and look, to stop and feel, to stop - period. And if you are a person who watches closely, the problem could be that you are still too busy, or you’re trying to do too many things at once.

To understand self-awareness and becoming accountable is really easy: look at your experience. Look at your life. Look at your feelings, your body and your thoughts. Are they working the way you want them to? Are you happy or content most of the time? Then ask yourself, “If I am the only person who possibly could be accountable to my experience – what would need to change for me to change my experience?” Stop right now and feel into that. Really. What thoughts or beliefs or habits or actions would need to change?

How about the negative thoughts you think? Do you like them? Some people do, liking the feeling of self-righteousness it gives them. Do you like limiting yourself and can you see how you do it? Do you catch all your judgments and fears - and are they even true - or are they only projections, fantasy or disaster mind? Do you stop them or let them run on, and on, and on? How much time do you spend on negative, judgmental, self-limiting, fantasy, disaster type thoughts every-single-day?

Unless you are a saint, you have them. And it’s OK. Beating yourself up and judging won’t do any good and, believe me, won’t raise your energy.  Becoming accountable to your experience requires you to actually look at your experience and take responsibility for it. 

No one is making you judge yourself (rather than have compassion), no one is forcing you to judge others (rather than have compassion), either. No one is asking you to entertain heavy, self-limiting thoughts and ideas – and if someone is trying to – head for the door! Who wants to be around that downer type of person….except perhaps another downer type of a person? Birds of a feather and all…..

Becoming accountable to my experience has been a very liberating adventure, as well as, admittedly, a puzzle. I’ve spent over thirty years studying and experimenting with these concepts, but throughout this time, had not reallyunderstood (or looked at) accountability. As I said, I shied away from the very word. I know now, however, that I am one hundred percent accountable to my experience. 100%

Here are some examples of changes I made: I once was hit head on by a drunk driver and said it was the best head-on collision anyone could have. It was true because of how I chose to think about it. Many would have created drama to get sympathy and make a much bigger event of it, requiring them to lower their vibration to that of victim. Choices. 

I recently got locked out of the house and, one locksmith and a hundred and fifty bucks later, I was perfectly content with it all. Many would have judged and berated themselves for not checking the door lock first and moaned over the loss of money in so dumb a way. Much lower vibration, yes?

About now some of you are going, “But what about perfectly normal reactions of loss, criticism and anger?” Well, what about them? What’s normal? Who decided this was normal? You? Your culture? Your parents? Who decided you had to be angry and judgmental? Who have you given your power of choice away to? How are you creating a bad (or good) experience from things that simply happen?

The question and answer is, “by what are you focusing on”. Higher or lower vibrational thoughts, heavy or light, better or worse, half empty or half full are all ways to start examining yourself. Ask yourself: is this thought opening me or shutting me down? If it’s shutting you down, what different thought would open you back up and take you into a lighter energy?

OK, I’m out $150 bucks – and it’s done, over, past. I can choose to lower my vibration with fears of scarcity and anger at myself, or I can choose gratitude that I got back in, quickly, and it didn’t cost me $200 late on a Saturday night!  (Locksmiths do have us over a barrel!)

To be accountable to our experience means really taking responsibility over our mind and thoughts. If you watch the effect heavy (negative) thoughts have, and then compare that with the effect more positive, lighter thoughts have – you will be amazed. 

You are at choice with every thought you choose to entertain. Choose better thoughts! Raise your energy up! Take on a gratitude practice! Really hold, in a light and nurturing way, the dreams you have and the truth that you really can achieve them….because you can. The negative will say, no…I can’t. The positive knows that is a load of baloney and, of course you can.

I hope you enjoyed this!  Diana